Harry Potter app?

I have been worried about S.M.I.D.S.Y for a while now. This is the acronym which strikes fear into the hearts of anyone on two wheels and the public highway motorised or otherwise. It is the phrase uttered by motorists as they are standing over your bloodied and battered body and help you to your feet, while trying to bend your bike wheels back into shape. Quite simply "Sorry Mate I Didn't See You".

So I thought I'd better make myself a wee bit more visible. I toddled off to sports Direct down the road. Saw the appropriately garish coloured top and duely purchased. Now being polyester and designed for outdoor use I had also assumed ( never assume) that this would also be somewhat waterproof. However yesterday morning while cycling to Mr B's Steam and Sauna emporium, into a 10 mile per hour headwind and persistant drizzle upon arrival I was saturated. So I have reserved this one for summer use and bought a waterproof equivalent.

Having dried off (thank goodness for Meile industrial sized tumble dryers) and done my day at the surgery I left for home. Whilst the weather had brightened up considerably by now the blasted wind had changed direction, and instead of a helping tailwind I was up against it again!

There is a cycle path and pavement running parallel to the dual carriageway out of Eastbourne. I tend to use this until I get to the padestrian crossing and then get onto the road. By the way wind is a hazard in SPD clips. I am just mastering the getting out of them in time to stop thing, but yesterday while waiting to cross the road, I had my left foot out, toe touching the floor and Right foot in ready to go, when a gust of wind hit me from the Left and still nearly blew me over as I struggled to get my Right foot out! Anyhoo. I have identified a further hazard. Pedestrians.

There is a floor in the high vis plan. In order to be seen (and who could miss me in that thing?) you have to be looked at. Now the mobile phone is a marvellous thing. But I now consider it deadly to cyclists. When you are cycling towards someone who is texting away or reading something on their phone their eyes and brains are somewhat preoccupied. Unfortunately the other problem is that you tend not to be able to hear a hi vis jacket either. Especially if you are the sort of person who is so obsessed by their phone that you have to text while walking, because you will almost certainly have earphones plugged into the thing too so you can listen to music, whilst texting and walking simultaneously. Immersed in your sensory paradise you may for instance fail to notice the 20 stone bloke, glowing like the core of Chernobyl coming at you on a bike at 15 m.p.h.

I very nearly broke the dinger off my little token bell supplied with the bike (well now I know why it's there) trying to get the attention of the approaching hipster, and imagining how much it's going to hurt hitting him, then the ground with feet still attached to the pedals. There would be blood, designer labels and knitwear scarves everywhere. Luckily some sort of 6th sense (or gap between tracks) allowed him to hear my frantic dinging and he stepped to the side just in time. I also had occasion to thank the shortening days when I approached a simliarly oblivious fashion/technology victim however this time walking away from me. Luckily the sun being so low and behind me cast a long enough shadow that he saw me (or my day-glo shadow) approaching way before I deployed the dinger and got out of the way.

I have now concluded that there is a Harry Potter style invisibility cloak app on android phones. I think it's a bit like the spell that makes people by yoghurt drinks thinking they will be healthier. You know the one "Bifidus dygestivum". Likewise I think this one goes "Hi-vis obliviosum" and renders the wearer of anything reflective or brightly coloured completely invisible and in-audible, no matter how frantically they are dinging their ickle bell.